You do not have to hurt yourself.

I have misrepresented God. 

God wants you more than He wants Himself. He wants you to stop hurting yourself more than you want to stop hurting yourself. 

 There is not a lot of point in hurting yourself if you do not have to hurt yourself. Hurting yourself does not help anyone.

   You can allow God to help you live.    You can allow you to want nothing more than you want God to the same extent that He wants nothing more than He wants you.  It is more important to take action to remove what is hurting you than it is to take action on just about anything else. 

Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

It hurts God when you hurt yourself.  He would not be Who He Is if He did not try to help you. 

Psalm 4:2 How long will you people turn my glory into shame? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?

Psalm 119: 118 You reject all who stray from your decrees, for their delusions come to nothing.

You do not have to want no future.  You can allow God to help you have a future.  You can turn away from anything that hurts you. You can turn back to wanting nothing more than you want  God to the same extent God wants nothing more than you.

Ezekiel 14:6 Therefore say to the people of Israel, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Repent! Turn from your idols and renounce all your detestable practices!

Ezekiel 18:32 For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!

Mark 1:15 The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!”

John 8:11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”